Yowell


 * Julian Yowell **

//Paste the appropriate portion of your essay in the spaces below. Note: we may not have enough time to post every part of your essay even though there are sections for each.//

If you ask any teenager about Shakespeare they will most likely say that he wrote the story __Romeo and Juliet__. For many, it’s just a story about two teenagers who commit suicide because they can’t date; however, I’ve learned that it’s much more complicated than that. Romeo’s death in the Shakespearean play, Romeo & Juliet, was a result of several contributing factors. While he took his own life, his decision to do that was a direct result of spiraling events set off by another character, Friar Lawrence. He plays the prominent role in the sudden turn of events and tragic death of Romeo.
 * __Thesis Statement:__**

__Comments:__ By "several" factors in your thesis statement hit, list, on the topics you are going to be talking about in your body paragraphs.-justin you don't say I... basically, the first half you can't use, and the other half is pretty good though.-will

Make the Thesis more argumentative, open it up for argument. (Burge) Your thesis was very good and a good way to start off your essay (JV MONEY) Romeo experienced love before through the character of Rosaline. There was something about his attraction to Juliet that was different. Both Romeo and Juliet were willing to sacrifice everything to follow their hearts. The Capulet’s and the Montague’s were feuding noble families; Romeo and Juliet would never have had the opportunity to cross paths if he hadn’t been encouraged to go to the party by his cousin. When Romeo sees Juliet for the first time at a party, he falls instantly in love. Romeo is so inspired by what has happened he rushes to share the news with his confidant Friar Lawrence. It is Friar Lawrence who sets off the chain of events which lead to a tragic end for Romeo. Friar Lawrence knows was aware of the feud between the two families. He didn’t make a very big effort to discourage their relationship. His decision to marry the young lovers in secret may have been well intentioned. He Believed the marriage of the two would solve the feud between the two warring families. This act however began a chain of events that spirals out of control. The newly married couple keeps this news a secret and doesn’t bring the families closer together like Friar Lawrence hoped. Friar Lawrence’s efforts to unite Romeo and Juliet for their wedding night take matters another step closer to the precipice. When Romeo approached Friar Lawrence with the news of his love for Juliet he should have known that it was happening much too fast. On the rebound from Rosaline and the Family conflict were too big things the mature and experienced priest should handled differently. Instead he helped things along.
 * __Body Paragraph 1:__**

__Comments:__ You start talking about rosaline; try cutting her out so its only the point with characters you're talking about the whole essay. you need two quotes (wilkins)

I Use this color now- point out the quotes, those are what make your argument viable (Burge) It is good that you discuss the main characters your using such as Friar Lawrence (JV MONEY) While all this is going on the Capulets approach Friar Lawarence to marry Juliet to another man named Paris. Instead of owning up to what he did he makes things worse when he agrees to marry Paris and Juliet. He agrees to marry a married girl just because he is too cowardly to admit the real situation that he has created. If he had stood up and taken responsibility for his actions both Romeo and Juliet would still be alive. There is a quote about good intentions paving the way to hell, this seems to fit the situation. He goes behind Father Capulet’s back with the plan for Juliet to fake her death. He doesn’t encourage Juliet to tell her parents that she is in love with another man or that she has even gotten married already. The dishonesty creates deception and the tradegy unravels when Juliet follows through with the Friar’s plan. Friar Lawrence’s failed in responsibility to tell Romeo about the plan before it was put into action. If he had Romeo wouldn’t have been so blind sided by the apparent death of Juliet and he would not have killed himself.
 * __Body Paragraph 2:__**

__Comments:__ What does having gone behind Father capulets back have to do with the death of romeo and juliet?-justin where is the quote? sentences are choppy again.-will

NVM NO COLOR (Burge)
 * They were soulmates but how will they even have a chance to see each other again if they tell their parents?

Good just need quotes (JV MONEY)

Body Paragraph 3:** When hears of her death Romeo arrives to find Juliet. He doesn’t realize that while she looks dead she is still alive. The potion she drank was a mixture of herbs chosen by the Friar which gave the appearance of death which fooled Romeo into thinking the worst. Friar Lawrence was responsible not only for the plan and potion and communicating the plan to both Romeo and Juliet. As it turned out he didn’t explain what was going to happen to Romeo before it was put into play. Romeo’s ignorance of the plan led to disbelief and anguish that resulted in Romeo taking his own life. Romeo is responsible for his own death because he brought his own poison to the tomb. Juliet awakes only to take her own life because she cannot bear to live without Romeo.

__Comments:__ good job hitting on father lawrence's part in this situation. good point but you need quotes

Elaborate more on what you have written, good points on Friar Lawrence mistakes (Burge)

Their double suicide isn’t about parents objecting to their marriage because they didn’t even know about it. Friar Lawrence culpability for their death is significant. It is rooted in his motivation to end the fighting between the Capulets and the Montques not to further the love of two young people. The fued wasn’t just between the two families, everyone in town has a connection and took side creating drama and strife. Friar Lawrence wants to end to the conflict that has spread into the community. He sees the marriage as a way for him to be at the center of a peace treaty after years conflict. He marries Romeo & Juliet without parents approval. He doesn’t own up to his actions and makes things worse by agreeing to marry Juliet to Paris. His plan to fake a death isn’t well thought out. The fact that Romeo isn’t even in the loop before it happens shows that Friar Lawrence’s good intentions are contributing factors to his death. Things are so messed up because of Friar Lawreunce that Juliet sees no way out except death.
 * __conclusion:__**

__Comments:__ try to condensse the conclusion paragraph this you have to resate the topics in the previous paragraphs. you spelled Montagues wrong.

If Friar had dealt with it well the parents would have been happily ignorant and no one would have been hurt well said.

Romeo and Juliet still had to hide their marriage which is the reason for there death (JV MONEY)
 * __Conclusion:__**

good start moore detail __Comments:__

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