Geeza


 * Justin Geeza **

//Paste the appropriate portion of your essay in the spaces below. Note: we may not have enough time to post every part of your essay even though there are sections for each.//


 * __Thesis Statement:__**
 * Fate ruined Romeo and Juliet. **

__Comments:__ elaborate DAVID well it is definatly straight to the point, but maybe you could expand a little more, need to be specific.-JAX talk about this more->wilkins kind of creepy, but cool idea-will How does it ruin them? (Kevin)


 * __Body Paragraph 1:__**
 * The feud made them destined to never be able to be together and always want each other with each of them being consistently just beyond touching distance being so close but so far . "It is the east, and Juliet is the sun"(2, 2). This shows how he is the east and she is the son and in some cases being untouchable and everlasting. She is put up on a, almost, holy pedestal that is impossible for him to reach and embrace.**

__Comments:__ you need two quotes. also connect it to the thesis DAVID description of quote is pathetic, at least try to do well for once-JAX--->wilkins you need two quotes, you need line numbers, you spelled "sun" wrong in line 3 it's good and really deep, but some of it need punctuation, otherwise it won't make sense, and some you just might want to read over and correct-will Where's the second quote? (KD)

__Comments:__ once again, you need two quotes. you are also cititng them incorrectly. Mercutio is not fate! how does this have any thing to do with the thesis, your quote is completely ironic-JAX you need two quotes, line number. the last sentence is awkward, you spelled "mercutio" wrong-->wilkins start with a more interesting opening sentance and relate back to thesis-julian Needs longer sentences. More quotes. More of everything except what you've been doing. (XD)
 * __Body Paragraph 2:__**
 * Second, Morcutio is to blame since after the duel between him and Tybalt he wishes harm upon both houses after Tybalt stabs him . "A plague o' both your houses!"** **(3, 1). With these last breaths he curses the Capulet’s and Montague’s, foreshadowing the coming loses of Romeo and Juliet to come.**
 * I thought this was about fate, shouldn't you focus on that?-will, also, you need quotes.

Body Paragraph 3:**
 * Third, Romeo is to blame for his foolishness of wanting to “get in and out” and not embracing his love with Juliet while he could. "Romeo is banished, There is no end, no limit, measure, bound, in that word's death. No words can that woe sound"(3, 2) . Romeo gets banished and dooms his love life with Juliet aiding the nose dive of negative affects later ending Romeo and Juliet’s lives. **

__Comments:__ Romeo is not fate either. You need to work harder on this paper DAVID all Romeo wanted was love....not "in and out" as you call it, just like david said go home and spend some time on this-JAX need two quotes and line numbers. affects is spelled wrong. what negative effects are you talking about>wilkins Same as the others (Burge) Come on, work harder. (KD)
 * __once again, you need to focus on fate, and not other people. If you could somehow work in that fate made these people do this stuff, it would work, also, try and make it make more sense.-will__

__Intro:__**


 * In Romeo and Juliet many mistakes were made and were destined to happen. Fate ruined Romeo and Juliet. In Romeo and Juliet fate decides everything and Shakespeare is the god father with ultimate control of the fate using and wielding this power to bend this poem however he wants. **

__Comments:__ work on your intro more DAVID your thesis is just thrown into the intoduction completely out of context, find somewhere it fits well-JAX romeo and juliet isn't a poem-->wo;loms yes-will I've given up. It's hopeless. (KD)


 * __Conclusion:__**
 * In the end fate kills even the strongest of loves, leaving nothing left that crossed its path. With fate being such a large, strong and dangerous aspect of poems and works of literature it makes you think in this situation, what would you have done differently to avoid this catastrophe? **

__Comments:__ Microsoft Word overrates the size of typed words.....-geeza I would not end with a question. elaborate more. sit down and redo this whole thing. dont end with question and also maybe rearange you paragraphy so that the best is last.. or something.....this paper will recieve an F if not improved-JAX don't end with a question--.wilkins yes-will Keep it in third person. (KD)

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