Oglesby


 * William Oglesby **

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Thesis: Tybalt is the reason that Romeo killed himself __Comments:__ Interesting (Kevin) ... (McGooglez) ok......lets see your paragraph and your arguement-geeza different DAVID Elaborate a smidgen, but its a good base --Burge-- M aybe make it sound better its good but you know.- Chip elaborate-yowell informative, very informative (jonathan)  Tybalt is the reason that Romeo dies in the end. Tybalt had wanted to duel Romeo because of his own arrogance and because of his hatred of Montagues. � Boy, this shall not excuse the injuries that thou hast done me; therefore turn and draw!�. During the first duel, Romeo does not want to fight Tybalt because he does not believe that he has any reason to, and also because he does not want to get in trouble with the authorities for dueling. Because Romeo refuses to duel, Mercutio took his place and dueled with Tybalt. � Thou, wretched boy, that didn�t consort him here, Shalt with him hence�. While Mercutio duels Tybalt, he was mortally wounded, and after cursing both houses, he dies.
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__Comments:__ A lot of summarizing. Tone it down a bit. Also, you need to tie the paragraph and quotes to your thesis statement (KD) Cite your sources for quotes! (McGooglez) Add more detail, not summarizing. (McGooglez) Correct apostraphes, and Quotation marks (McGooglez) Morcutio dosen't just take his place he protects him-geeza I know, it's short, I don't know where the 2nd and 3rd paragraph started and ended. You need to explain your quotes and connect them to the thesis DAVID Make the connections a little bit smoother, relate the quotes --Burge-- dont summerize so much-julian i likr this will but it needs a little more.- Chip don't summarize as much, just describe(jonathan) When Mercutio dies, Romeo can not find anyone other than himself to blame, and because of his shame and grief from his friend�s death, he seeks out Tybalt and duels him.
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__Comments:__ Needs more quotes. (XD) Where are your quotes? (McGooglez) wheres the rest of your parargraph? (McGooglez) need more writing/ quotes for your arguement-geeza needs quotes, a connection to the thesis, anything at all. DAVID needs quotes and more length(jonathan) __Paragraph-__ a body of words that contains at least six sentences and explains one topic applying it to other ideas. ENOUGH SAID --Burge-- add more substance-julian this is very short- chip Tybalt adds fuel to the fire in the feud between the Montagues and the Capulets during the play. He has a well known hate towards the Montagues, and he shows this side of himself willingly throughout the play, � This, by his voice, should be a Montague.�Fetch me my rapier, boy.� Tybalt even shows his hate for all things Montague during the party at the beginning, when Romeo meets Juliet, and the only reason that Tybalt does not attempt to duel Romeo there is because Lord Capulet tells him: �Content thee, gentle coz, let him alone, I would not for the wealth of all this town here in my own house do him disparagement; therefore be patient, take no note of him; it is my will, which if thou respect, show a fair presence, and put off these frowns, an ill-beseeming semblance for a feast.�. Tybalt then storms from the party, now having been told off by Lord Capulet. �Patience perforce with willful choler meeting makes my flesh tremble in their different greeting: I will withdraw, but this intrusion shall, now seeming sweet, convert to bitterest gall.� In the end, he gives even more reason for the two families two segregate themselves from the other when Romeo slays him for the revenge of his late friend; Mercutio. __Comments:__ All things Montague...good paragraph. A little more linking to the thesis is needed. (KD) Cite your quote (McGooglez) good detailed, well supported paragraph (McGooglez) better in detail-geeza you really need to connect this to the thesis. I do not see how Tybalt is to blame. DAVID Droning on in quotes, spend more time explaining 2 not writing 4 --Burge-- dont spend so much time on quotes-julian pretty good will- chip much petter than previous paragraphs, nice work(jonathan) I forgot
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__Comments:__ I think you know what to do (Kevin) Dittz (Ditto) (McGooglez) expand-geeza I like it, it explains the situation concisely and accurately--Burge-- no comment -_- (jonathan) I forgot
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__Comments:__ 3/5 paragraphs...60% is a failing grade (KD) Dittz (Ditto) (McGooglez) Short, to the point, A+ material in my opinion (Burge) wow...... (jonathan) Period 3 Home Page Period 3 Essay Page