Dai


 * Kevin Dai **

//Paste the appropriate portion of your essay in the spaces below. Note: we may not have enough time to post every part of your essay even though there are sections for each.// The Capulets killed Juliet with their pride and selfishness.
 * __Thesis Statement:__**

__Comments:__ Good thesis. -Will Very straight to the point- Jackson very straight forward-geeza narrow your thesis' scope DAVID Right to the point, nice (Jonathan) Romeo and Juliet die. But many various characters can be blamed for this. However, it is obvious that everything is set into motion as soon as the wedding plans for Paris and Juliet are announced. It is then that the Capulets are to blame because their pride interferes with their logic. These illogical decisions eventually lead to Juliet’s death.
 * __Intro:__**

__Comments:__ The sentences are a little choppy, but it's very good.-Will I agree with Will, but you also need more detail to your statements. Jackson don't be so choppy be more detailed and give the thesis statement the full potential it has-geeza work on the flow of your sentences DAVID I agree with david, make them flow (jonathan)

Tybalt is a Capulet. Therefore he is a representative of the Capulet house. He is an aggressively arrogant and short- tempered person, which has much to do with his pride. In order to uphold his dignity, he will do almost anything, no matter the consequences. “What, drawn and talk of peace? I hate the word, / As I hate hell, all Montagues, and thee, / Have at thee, coward” (1.1.61-63). Tybalt is unable to control his emotions about the feud and declares every Montague his enemy. His pride will not allow him to let Benvolio, who has recently stopped a potentially dangerous argument, calm him down, and declares a fight which leads to the Prince penalizing death upon the next to disturb the peace. Undeterred by this all, Tybalt continues to let his pride take the best of him. “Now by the stock and honour of my kin, / To strike him dead I hold it not a sin” (1.5.57-58). Here, it is indeed Romeo’s fault that triggers Tybalt’s rage, but instead of “turning the other cheek”, Tybalt starts on a rampage. “Boy, this shall not excuse the injuries/ That thou hast done me, therefore turn and draw” (3.1.59-60). Tybalt is unswayed by Romeo’s polite conversation and initiates a fight, as angry as ever. This ends in Romeo’s banishment, a key part in Juliet’s Suicide-Betrayal.
 * __Body Paragraph 1:__**

__Comments:__ This is good, but I thought this was about the Capulet House, it seems that you are focusing on one character too much, and not the actions of the entire house.-Will You need more transitions into each sentance, but it seems you understand what your writing about.- Jackson still choppy get more detailed with this paragraph.-geeza choppy, and needs more explanations DAVID great use of quotes- (jonathan)

However, not everything is to be pinned on Tybalt alone. Lord and Lady Capulet also have much to answer for. Lord Capulet justly plans a marriage for Juliet and Paris, but for the wrong reasons. He knows that if Juliet marries Paris, then the Capulets as a whole will be socially elevated, and even more importantly, they will exceed the Montagues in rank. “Marry, my child, early next Thursday morn, / The gallant, young, and noble gentleman” (3.5.112-113). These reasons are built from pride, greed, and selfishness. And in of this, they did not ask Juliet’s opinion. So when Juliet tries reason with her parents, they wail in anger and ironically call her a difficult child. “Hang thee, young baggage, disobedient wretch!/ I tell thee what: get thee to church a’Thursday,/ Or never after look me in the face” (3.5.160-163). Lord Capulet is desperate for the promotion in social status, and, like Tybalt, will do anything to secure that position. But he isn’t the only one with harsh words for the righteous rebel. “I would the fool were married to her grave” (3.5.140). Spoken by Lady Capulet, this quote foreshadows the death of Juliet, and when she realizes the truth, the Lady surrounds herself in self-pity, never giving a thought to whether or not she could have stopped it.
 * __Body Paragraph 2:__**

__Comments:__ Personally, I think you are on the right track to gettin gwith the Capulet house argument, but in this time, women weren't really asked their opinions in marriage and other things (that whole sexist thing). So, you might want to change the argument a little. -Will Good quote use and this paragraph flows alot better than most others.- Jackson Much better, it isn't as choppy as before and is much better-geeza Much better than your first paragraph DAVID Much better sentence work (jonathan)

At the end of all this, the two houses let some rivalry drop. “O brother Montague, give me thy hand. / This is my daughter’s jointure, for no more / Can I demand” (5.3.296-298). Finally, Lord Capulet is humble enough to ask for nothing for than a friendly handshake. But this friendship can’t last. “But I can give thee more, / For I will raise her statue in pure gold” (5.3.298-299). Lord Montague says this. “As rich shall Romeo’s by his lady’s lie” (5.3.303). But once again both houses are at each others’ throats, subtly boasting about their wealth due to their pride.
 * Body Paragraph 3: **

__Comments:__ This doesn't really sound like a body paragraph, it sounds more like the conclusion.-Will This isnt a good closing pararaph, your last one needs to be you strongest point, maybe switch a few around.- Jackson i agree that this sounds more like a coonclusion-geeza elaborate more on your quotes DAVID Your paragraph is basically just made up of quotes, try to add more detail about them(jonathan) I agree. I'm going to fix these two last paragraphs. (Kevin)

Non- existing. o_O
 * __Conclusion:__**

__Comments: add detail__

Awesomeness(jonathan)

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