Nicholas


 * Niels Nicholas **

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 * __Thesis Statement:__**I think that Juliet’s parents, Lord and Lady Capulet, are to blame for Juliet’s death because of their pointless feud with the Montagues

"I think" makes you sound unsure of yourself. Be more affirmative. Lady and Lord Capulet are to blame for Juliet's death. -Jonathan Avoid I think - just say the statement. Getting rid of "I think that" would be good. Don't forget punctuation - colin __Comments:__

If Lord and Lady Capulet just put their differences with the Montagues behind them, then Romeo and Juliet would have been happy, and they wouldn’t have committed suicide. Juliet’s parents also should have allowed Romeo and Juliet to be married, and this may have fixed some of the problems between the Capulets and the Montagues.
 * __Body Paragraph 1:__**

Still, be affirmative midway through the second sentence. More facts would be good. Don't forget quotes -Jonathan You need two quotes, and you might need another sentence or two. - colin __Comments:__

Juliet’s parents hate Romeo, and they don’t even know him. The only reason Lord and Lady Capulet hate him is because he is a Montague. Lady Capulet says this, “Well girl, thou weep’st not so much for his death, as that villain lives which slaughter’s him. JULIET: What villain madam? LADY CAPULET: that same villain, Romeo. This quote shows how much Lady Montague hates Romeo. Lady Capulet hates Romeo for no reason besides his last name, and that is so unfair to Romeo because he can not do anything about it. cite the quote. it's definitely a good relevant quote - colin Quote line, act, and scene, needed. good quote though -Jonathan __Comments:__
 * __Body Paragraph 2:__**

The hatred between the Capulets and Montagues makes it hard for Romeo and Juliet to get married and/or live together. The quote, “My only love sprung from my only hate! Too early seen unknown, and known too late! Prodigious birth of love it is to me, that I must love a loathed enemy”, shows the differences between the families, and it also shows how serious the hate is between the two families is. The families aren’t the only ones that know about their fight, the Prince and the whole town knows about it, and they all want the feud to end so they can all live in peace. This quote, “Where are these enemies? Capulet! Montague! See, what a scourge is laid upon your hate, that heaven finds means kill your joys with love. And I for winking at your discords too have lost a brace kinsmen: all are punish’d”, shows how sick the Prince is of the fighting between the families.
 * Body Paragraph 3:**

__Comments:__ Good Paragraph don't forget to put a conclusion paragraph at the end.-Jonathan


 * __Intro:__**

__Comments:__

__**Conclusion:**__ Therefore, Lord and Lady Capulet and the feud between the families are to blame for the death of Juliet. If they would have allowed them to get married, then they would have lived and would have been in love with eachother. If the feud between the families settled and they stopped having all those stupid fights then they would have been happy together and also the families would have been happier because they wouldnt have to deal with all the tragedy and fighting that they have to deal with because of the feud. Romeo and Juliets death could have been avoided. __Comments:__

I hadn't really thought about it but that is a great idea that Juliet's parents caused her death. The thesis statement is an excellent thesis, and all the quotes fit the topic. You need to work on your quote citations. Also, you need to write a conclusion. Overall good writing though. (Jason Fromal)

good ideas overall, but you might need a few more quotes and you might need to explain some beter. you have a good idea behind your thesis statement in particular though.

Good thesis statement and good argument but you need to site your quotes and put more quotes in your argument paragraphs. Also, make sure to explain more about your quotes and add two paragraphs for an intro and closing paragraph. (Harrison Butker)

Good essay, and good ideas, but try to explain your quotes a little more. -ryan

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